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Hello all -
Not many of you know about my crazy topsy turvy of the last year. It was one of the hardest ones of my 30 plus years.
A year ago my partner Raven and I split so that she could further her education and pursuit another career. Within that
same month I moved and my only sister moved in with me. So far so good, my sister Enia (pronounced like the singer
Anya) and moved into our apartment and few weeks later she started to experience severe stomach cramps and bleeding.
After several visits to the Emergency Room and four doctors later, she was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer:
Uterine Sarcoma.
In August the day after her 28th birthday, on August 29th, she had a full hysterectomy. When the doctor performed
the surgery he found a lot more cancer within my sister than he thought or even knew. He removed as much of the cancer
cells as he could see, he cleared it out as far up as her heart. That was the first time I realized that I could lose my sister. I
was relieved to hear that she would make a full recovery. Three weeks after that we found out that the doctor missed a
mass behind her liver and it was beginning to grow and grow rapidly. In order to retard the growth of the tumor she began
Chemotherapy. That is when the real problems began.
Once Chemo started the harshest and hardest things began to happen. We found the Chemotherapy she was receiving
wasn't strong enough. The type was changed and Radiation was started. As usual with Chemotherapy her hair fell out,
but the good part was that I still came home from work everyday and saw my sister smiling at me. One weekend I was to
go away, I changed my mind I didn't want to be far away if my sister needed me, hind site is 20/20. That weekend my sister
ended up in the Emergency Room again. We discovered she had a large mass in her colon and it would have to be
removed. That created a new problem, at 28 my sister was going to be stuck with a Colostomy Bag for the rest of her
life. Not acceptable!!
Once again, her Chemotherapy cocktail was changed again to accommodate the new tumors. That created a new
problem, after two sessions we found out the hard way that my sister was part of a small population of people who are
allergic to Chemo. For days my sister was trapped inside of her own body and could not respond except for involuntary
responses. She finally overcame that and we were able to all spend Thanksgiving together. She began to regain her
appetite and keep food down. It was a wonderful time. We were all looking forward to Christmas and January when we
would all take a trip to Hawaii. It was great.
A week later my sister was in the hospital again, the tumors were back with a vengeance. Without her Uterus to contain
them they invaded her abdomen. Within a week her Liver and Kidneys began to shut down and she was transferred to
CCU. She was heavily sedated to keep her comfortable, however as the fighter she is, she fought it and attempted to
pull out the feeding tube on many occasions and would respond to visitors. I stopped going to work so that I could
spend all of my time with her. After a week in CCU on December 14th at 1:43 am I received a phone call from the
hospital, my baby sister had passed on. It was one of the hardest things that I had to hear, it tied with when my brother
died when I was 21. I was numb and could barely function. My only sister was gone and I was...alone. I went and picked
out her casket and clothes, she was buried three days before Christmas. Relatives finally began to come down to pay
their last respects, death is easier to deal with when you are surrounded by people.
For six months I came home every day to her belongings and all of the things that reminded me of her; I sank into
depression head first. I lost interest in everything, it took all of the will power I had just to go to work so I could keep a
roof over my head. However, with the help of support groups and a good therapist, life isn't so empty. I can see the light
at the end of the tunnel and I finally stopped believing it was an oncoming train. I realized the light was the sun and one
day I was no longer afraid to go out into it. Now all I have to do is take it one day at time as my childhood best-friend
fights for her health, she's suffering from brain and lung cancer.
Today, I am getting my life back and realized that my heart was shattered when my sister died, but thanks to the support
of my reviewers and friends, my life did not end. I would like to thank Vikky, Sir Michael, Lili and Judy especially for
talking to me at the right moments and pulling me off of the ledge of despair when I didn't even know I was on it. I would
also like to thank Marty at Samhain for her kind words and Laura at Ellora's Cave for her understanding.
Now that I am back I am going to work extra hard to bring the site back. I am a one woman show and it's going to be a
great show, so please stay tuned and watch this Phoenix rise from the ashes. Thank you again to everyone for the
support, kindness and understanding that you have given me.
Faith Jacobs
Not many of you know about my crazy topsy turvy of the last year. It was one of the hardest ones of my 30 plus years.
A year ago my partner Raven and I split so that she could further her education and pursuit another career. Within that
same month I moved and my only sister moved in with me. So far so good, my sister Enia (pronounced like the singer
Anya) and moved into our apartment and few weeks later she started to experience severe stomach cramps and bleeding.
After several visits to the Emergency Room and four doctors later, she was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer:
Uterine Sarcoma.
In August the day after her 28th birthday, on August 29th, she had a full hysterectomy. When the doctor performed
the surgery he found a lot more cancer within my sister than he thought or even knew. He removed as much of the cancer
cells as he could see, he cleared it out as far up as her heart. That was the first time I realized that I could lose my sister. I
was relieved to hear that she would make a full recovery. Three weeks after that we found out that the doctor missed a
mass behind her liver and it was beginning to grow and grow rapidly. In order to retard the growth of the tumor she began
Chemotherapy. That is when the real problems began.
Once Chemo started the harshest and hardest things began to happen. We found the Chemotherapy she was receiving
wasn't strong enough. The type was changed and Radiation was started. As usual with Chemotherapy her hair fell out,
but the good part was that I still came home from work everyday and saw my sister smiling at me. One weekend I was to
go away, I changed my mind I didn't want to be far away if my sister needed me, hind site is 20/20. That weekend my sister
ended up in the Emergency Room again. We discovered she had a large mass in her colon and it would have to be
removed. That created a new problem, at 28 my sister was going to be stuck with a Colostomy Bag for the rest of her
life. Not acceptable!!
Once again, her Chemotherapy cocktail was changed again to accommodate the new tumors. That created a new
problem, after two sessions we found out the hard way that my sister was part of a small population of people who are
allergic to Chemo. For days my sister was trapped inside of her own body and could not respond except for involuntary
responses. She finally overcame that and we were able to all spend Thanksgiving together. She began to regain her
appetite and keep food down. It was a wonderful time. We were all looking forward to Christmas and January when we
would all take a trip to Hawaii. It was great.
A week later my sister was in the hospital again, the tumors were back with a vengeance. Without her Uterus to contain
them they invaded her abdomen. Within a week her Liver and Kidneys began to shut down and she was transferred to
CCU. She was heavily sedated to keep her comfortable, however as the fighter she is, she fought it and attempted to
pull out the feeding tube on many occasions and would respond to visitors. I stopped going to work so that I could
spend all of my time with her. After a week in CCU on December 14th at 1:43 am I received a phone call from the
hospital, my baby sister had passed on. It was one of the hardest things that I had to hear, it tied with when my brother
died when I was 21. I was numb and could barely function. My only sister was gone and I was...alone. I went and picked
out her casket and clothes, she was buried three days before Christmas. Relatives finally began to come down to pay
their last respects, death is easier to deal with when you are surrounded by people.
For six months I came home every day to her belongings and all of the things that reminded me of her; I sank into
depression head first. I lost interest in everything, it took all of the will power I had just to go to work so I could keep a
roof over my head. However, with the help of support groups and a good therapist, life isn't so empty. I can see the light
at the end of the tunnel and I finally stopped believing it was an oncoming train. I realized the light was the sun and one
day I was no longer afraid to go out into it. Now all I have to do is take it one day at time as my childhood best-friend
fights for her health, she's suffering from brain and lung cancer.
Today, I am getting my life back and realized that my heart was shattered when my sister died, but thanks to the support
of my reviewers and friends, my life did not end. I would like to thank Vikky, Sir Michael, Lili and Judy especially for
talking to me at the right moments and pulling me off of the ledge of despair when I didn't even know I was on it. I would
also like to thank Marty at Samhain for her kind words and Laura at Ellora's Cave for her understanding.
Now that I am back I am going to work extra hard to bring the site back. I am a one woman show and it's going to be a
great show, so please stay tuned and watch this Phoenix rise from the ashes. Thank you again to everyone for the
support, kindness and understanding that you have given me.
Faith Jacobs
